Come on… Where are the cameras?

I am just a little too young to remember the original Candid Camera show.  (It doesn’t help that my parents did not let me watch more than 30 minutes of television per week as a kid and I routinely used it all up on the Cosby Show.)  Even still, I knew about the show.  I think I have seen clips of it before.  It is a funny show!

But…I did not know that the show was still around.

Or at least that is what I was thinking on Friday afternoon because I was looking for those darn Candid Camera cameras.  So was HH.  We were both convinced that at any moment, Peter Funt was going to walk right up and surprise us and we could all have a big laugh.

But alas, no Peter Funt.

And no Ashton Kucher with the Punked crew either.

No surprise “ha ha” moment which is disappointing because that would have made the whole thing a little better.

Let me set the stage for you…

Over the weekend, we were staying a popular central Florida hotel where I was in the middle of a three-day leadership conference.  Attendees were encouraged to bring their spouse and kids for the evening event on Friday.  HH, Vader, Splash and Turtle arrived about one hour before we were supposed to head to the dinner.  We got them spiffed up in their cute collared shirts and khaki pants.  We were all ready and raring to go and just in the nick of time for me to make the conference photos of the attendees.  I was feeling pretty good, maybe even a little smug about how well it was going…or so I thought.

En route to dinner, we stopped on the way to admire the waterfront and wildlife (aka retention pond and ducks) along the path to the lobby.

And the boys were sooo excited.  Vader ran up to see the ducks as HH was shouting, “Don’t run!  Don’t get too close to the edge!  Don’t fall into the water!”

And thankfully, he did not fall into the water.

What HH left off the short list of “don’ts” was “Don’t slide baseball-style in the algae and duck poop slime that is all over the place while we are on our way to dinner!”

Which is what Vader did.

A nice bystander offered us a baby wipe – which cleaned about .0001% of the goop off my kid.  Leaving Splash and Turtle with HH (because getting Splash to leave the water’s edge and Turtle to move fast enough would have been very difficult), I took Vader back to the room and began the process of hosing him down.  (*gag*)

Clean body.

Clean clothes.

Call HH to arrange to meet in the lobby.

But no.

Not so fast there, Mom.  You wouldn’t think it would be that easy, would you!?

When I call HH to say we are on our way, it distracts him from the other two kids and…

Child #2.

Turtle.

The.

Exact.

Same.

Thing.

Where are the freakin cameras?

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