I was feeling so good this morning.  I blew dry my hair. I was wearing one of my favorite jackets.  I was ready to take on Tuesday.

As soon I arrived at work, I stood up before a room full of newly hired associates who are only six days on the job.  I was addressing the group with 4 other members of the leadership team, each of us talking about our background and our role at the site.

When it was my turn, I was specifically trying to keep my hands by my side as I talked.  I tend to use them A LOT when public speaking.  Or I clasp them in front of me.  The “crotch-clasp” (as I have thought of it more than once) is a Toastmaster no-no.  Best to keep your hands by your side.

Oh how today, I wish I would have crotch-clasped.

You see, I left the office after we concluded our little song and dance and drove to an appointment across town.  Thirty minutes and two more “polite” people later, as I am driving back from the appointment, I realize that my zipper is down.

It has likely been down.

The whole time.

It takes only a second to then remember that my boss was oddly smirking at me after my introduction.  I was actually noticing that he missed a belt loop on his pants and wondering if I should tell him about it when I saw he was looking at me weird.  Did I say something strange during my intro?

No… I don’t think so.

My oh my, how oblivious I was.

Once I got back to work, I got out of the car and tested my pants three times to see if they gapped when the fly was down. I really needed to reassure myself that no one was able to see my underthings.

At this point, I could care less who in the parking lot saw what I was doing.  To my minor relief, it appears I may have dodged a much more embarrassing situation.  The pants stay closed when the zipper is open.

Or not.  Who knows.

No one noticed…or more likely, no one wanted to tell me.

After all, I decided not to tell my boss about his belt loop.

I did not want to embarrass him.

By the way, if you are not familiar with the Mom-ism above, “XYZPDQ” is Examine Your Zipper, Pretty Darn Quick.


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